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Have a Rodgers and Hammerstein Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving and I’m grateful for many things.

One thing I’m grateful for is that I have a big, loving family — and they are all liberal Democrats.

We have our moments, but there won’t be any heated arguments with Uncle Joe who voted for Trump.

Last Thanksgiving, we had some disagreement about Bernie and Hillary.

But this year, before the conversation even begins, I’m confident that we will all generally agree that the president-elect is a scary, albeit entertaining, celebrity who is surrounded by seedy racist characters and destined to do a lot of damage to our great country.

That said, let’s have a happy Thanksgiving.

If you have opposing political factions at your table, consider that there are more important things in life than politics.

And — perhaps take some comfort in these favorite Rodgers and Hammerstein show tunes:



 

Earn a degree in discrimination

trumpu

Need something to do after the election?

Earn Your Associates Degree in Discrimination Science at  the new Trump University.

Registration for Spring Semester opens at 8pm, November 8, 2016.
Classes begin January 20, 2017.

Degree Requirements: This two-year, non-accredited program requires the completion of all 24 courses. Tuition for entire program must be pre-paid. No refunds.

Hate Studies
HS 101 Introduction to White Supremacy
HS 112 Introduction to Misogyny
HS 113 Mexicans
HS 115 Blacks, Muslims, and Jews
HS 212 Practicum in Disrespect, Trolling, and Flaming (8 hrs, includes lab)
HS 235 Advanced Xenophobia
HS 245 LGBT Attacking
HS 379 The History of Stereoptyping
HS 436 Advanced Seminar on Superiority – Racial and Religious

Destruction Science
DS 101 Making Stuff Up
DS 112 Introduction to Insults
DS 115 Name Calling
DS 245 Gaslighting Techniques
DS 345 Advanced Blame
DS 356 Practicum in Lying
DS 365 Attention, Domination, and Division
DS 425 Advanced Seminar on Conspiracy Theories

Harassment Arts
HA 101 Introduction to Sexual Harassment
HA 111 Clowning
HA 111 Locker Room Lingo
HA 212 Body Shaming and Rating Systems
HA 231 Humiliation Studies: Walls, Banning, Stop-and-Frisk, and Extreme Vetting
HA 335 Slurs: Mexicans, Muslims, Asians, and Blacks (including children)
HA 355 Maleness: Snorting, Tic Tacs, and Pussy Grabbing
HA 360 Advanced Interrupting
HA 441 Seminar on Groping and Rape

Honors Program
Highly qualified students are invited to apply for admission to the honors program. Participants must be white, male, and over 50 years of age. Completion requires a technology and writing component.

1) Technology component: Student must sit at a computer and successfully go online and locate the website www.breitbart.com.
2) Writing component: Student must write a complete sentence about building a wall. The sentence must begin with a capital letter, end with a period, and include a subject and verb. There can be no more than three punctuation errors.

Faculty

Alex Jones Ann Coulter David Duke Stephen Bannon
alex_jones_crop ann-coulter dt-common-streams-streamserver bannon

McCrory and Trump — obsession with genitalia

mccrorytrump-1Republicans seem to be obsessed with human genitalia.

McCrory is proud of protecting girls from transgender predators in the bathroom.

He calls them transgenders, but he’s really talking about men who dress like women in order to attack girls in the ladies room — a group of people that seems to exist only in his vivid imagination.

Trump is proud of his accomplishments as a sexual predator. He’s interested in grabbing women in their private parts, etc.

They pretty much attract the same group. The same voters!

I’m a hypocrite too. We all are. I assert that that is part of the human condition.

But there’s gotta be a great joke in there somewhere.  I just can’t think of it.

Biased toward sentences, paragraphs, coherency, and punctuation

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Earlier today, I saw a Facebook post reprinting an article in the Salisbury Post lamenting the decline of unbiased reporting in that thing we cherish that has been so widely and weirdly demonized of late, “the mainstream media.”

I attacked the piece’s sorry punctuation. In my view, if you’re going

Continue reading Biased toward sentences, paragraphs, coherency, and punctuation

North Carolina. Is this a surprise?

It’s not just the police.

While people in Charlotte protest (and riot), in response to the police murder of Keith Lamont Scott, consider that things don’t happen in a vacuum.

People in North Carolina have been treated in a callous, hostile manner for years.

If this incident had not precipitated a reaction, something

Continue reading North Carolina. Is this a surprise?

Quick work!

Incredible performance by J. R. Jones (Freedom Lawn Care), an extraordinary landscaper who helped us yesterday morning with a tree emergency.

This tree pummeled our neighbor’s yard and they had a lawn party scheduled for that afternoon. Our house was built in 1940, and from looking at the rings on the tree’s trunk,

Continue reading Quick work!

McCrory really does want dialogue (not)

McCrory on Meet the Press

The North Carolina Governor plainly told the nation, on ‘Meet the Press,’ that we need more dialogue.

“And let’s have this dialogue and I welcome that dialogue,” he said.

In another interview, he says, “What we need is dialogue, instead of threats. […] I see at the national level

Continue reading McCrory really does want dialogue (not)

Jackie Mudpie: The one who never left

jackie1

We rarely called her by her full name, Jackie Mudpie. She mostly went by Jackie, and sometimes Jack-Jack or Sweet Doggie, or various sounds like Doggie-woogie-beegie-baggie-boo.

Most people have a special voice they use for their dogs, and so did I. It’s a high tone that’s a little squeaky, a little weird,

Continue reading Jackie Mudpie: The one who never left

Going to see ‘A Parie Home Companion’ and I’m Sorta excited

phc

In a few minutes, Alicia and I will be making the pilgrimage to see A Prarie Home Companion, in Brevard, NC.

That show begin a month after I graduated from high school, and I’ve been a fan since then.

My dad liked it, and I have a vivid memory of sitting in the

Continue reading Going to see ‘A Parie Home Companion’ and I’m Sorta excited

Conservative think tank workers cancel July 4th Vacations

novacation

Declaring this past week “an emergency,” conservative think tank thinkers have canceled July 4th vacations so they can use the time to come up with new ideas for the future of our country.

“We lost same-sex marriage, health care, and the rebel flag — all in one week,” said the head of RTTCTOA.

Continue reading Conservative think tank workers cancel July 4th Vacations