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Cookie war ends in poisoned teachers, dead cafeteria manager!

An angry school cafeteria manager is now dead after she tried to poison all fifty-five teachers in a bitter war that broke-out over the school’s chocolate chip cookie policy.

The bitter food provider filled a batch of chocolate chip cookies with poison — then put them in the teacher’s lounge for teachers to sample.

Several teachers required hospitalization, but Fredda Carlystplum, 35, killed herself in the process.

A fatal dose of the poison seeped through the pores of her hands as she made the dough. Carlystplum was so heavily contaminated that she dropped dead as soon as the poison kicked in — about two hours after the exposure.

The poisoning ended months of feuding between Carlystplum and the teachers at Broadsmera Academy, a high school in central Sicily.

“She would sell cookies to the kids, but wouldn’t let the teachers have any,” says Wallosa Crimtoni, 44, a psychology teacher at the school.

“The teachers got so angry, they got a petition together and the principal stepped in and changed the policy. He made her sell cookies to the teachers.

“Then she got so mad she tried to poison them all. When she put that plate in the lounge, I thought she was trying to make peace. Obviously, she wasn’t.

“It’s a tragic example,” says Crimtoni, “of what poor communication can do to the inner workings of a school.”

Says history teacher Regina Milfouse, who ate one cookie and suffered a mild poisoning: “That woman was hard to get along with, but I’ll say one thing for her. She could make a great cookie.”

From Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

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