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Couple destroys all property over divorce!

A raging mad, wealthy, retired couple in the process of getting a divorce, has destroyed its life savings — two houses, three cars, a boat, a camper, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a farm — on purpose, to make sure the other party got nothing in the settlement!

And the furious judge turned around and dashed the couple’s hopes for getting the divorce they wanted so badly, telling them they didn’t deserve any cooperation from the court because they were “acting like two big babies.”

Natscki and Helta Funzt, both 62 years old, realized their foolishness and accepted the judge’s decision nicely, both vowing to make their best efforts at making another go at it.

At this point, the decision was probably just as well, they told the judge, since everything was gone.

“We’ll probably get along fine now,” Helta told Judge Marcink Doserno, 48. “Most of our fights were about money.”

“True,” Natscki said. “Divorce doesn’t really seem to be worth it, anymore.”

Ever since the couple from Godech, Bulgaria first decided to separate and divorce a year ago, they have been fighting bitterly over who got what.

They have had a number of meetings, with and without their lawyers, and each one has ended with a dangerously heated shouting match.

So they each began destroying property so the other couldn’t have it.

Natscki, who had just retired as the president of a large bank, wanted to keep the couple’s house in Godech, letting Helta have the summer home in the mountains.

However, Helta felt that she should get the Godech house and the mountain house, since her husband had plenty of money in the bank to build or buy another one.

Both houses then mysteriously burned to the ground, and although there was not enough evidence to convict Helta, informed sources say that she was responsible for the burnings.

Just to get her back, and to prove that he didn’t have enough money to build house after house, Natscki then gave every cent he had in the bank to charity, leaving them both penniless.

In a rage of fury, Helta wrecked all three cars, and sank the boat.

Natscki signed the camper over to a homeless family.

The only thing left was the farm, and one of them arranged for the topsoil on it to be chemically destroyed, so that nothing would grow again there for years. Both of them deny responsibility for it.

In a private interview, the couple said they expect to get along better.

“I guess we’ll have to,” said Natscki, smiling at his wife of 40 years.

“All we really have is each other, Teddy Bear,” replied Helta, as she put her arm around her hubby and gave him a love poke in the stomach.

From Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

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