Deep-voiced aliens leave messages on answering machines!

Aliens who say they know everything about the future of life on Earth because they can travel freely through time and space have left astounding messages on answering machines.

In deep, raspy, cracking voices, the space creatures made a number of calls to people on earth. Each time, they made a prediction about the future, where they claim to have been.

deep voiced aliens
alien voices

Calling long distance from Zonx, the talkative beings have left messages with six different people, calling them each by name, including:

— Dr. Malstersros Wong, 39, of New Deli, India. Dr. Wong, a cancer specialist, got a message from an alien who said that cancer would be wiped out by the year 2020. However, Wong was also told that he would not live to see the end of the disease become a reality — because he would die in the year 2019.

— Coach Raymond Castellontos, 22, of Thomson, Australia, was told that he would get as close as you could get to winning a Davis Cup Championship in tennis — without ever winning one. Castellontos, who is in his first year of junior high school coaching, tried desperately, without success, to call the alien back and get more details.

— Vladmir Flanachsti, 12, a Soviet school boy, was told that he would one day become the Secretary General of the Soviet Union, and that he would have a summit meeting with a United States president whose last name was Kennedy.

— Pete Tartus, 41, a fisherman in Singapore, had a message on his machine from a throaty-voiced space being who told him that the temperature on Earth would be an average of 20 degrees warmer by the year 2050. Then, said the alien, there will be no more beaches, and cities will be totally air-conditioned — even on the streets.

— Andre Pesrot, 38, a stand-by astronaut from Sao Paulo, Brazil, was told that more and more human beings will live in space, until, eventually, everyone will live there, leaving only animals on Earth.

— Daldvine Yokima, 50, a pharmacist from Tokyo, Japan, had a message on his machine about a new drug that will come out in the future. The new drug will take the place of all other drugs, because it will cure anything, including drug addiction.

From Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

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