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Drug Using Dog Arrested!

Police are holding in custody a red-eyed St. Bernard by the name of George who was arrested for possession of cocaine with intent to sell.

The dog is being held behind bars in Bern, Switzerland, without bond.

“We really want to find the dog’s owner,” said Sergeant Peter Gleestore. “But until we do, we’re holding the dog.

“This dog was awfully buzzed from smoking pot and snorting cocaine. As soon as he straightens out, I think he’ll take us to where he lives, and we’ll expect to make a good-sized drug bust.”

Observers guessed that the dog was high when they saw the huge animal doing all kinds of crazy things on the streets of Bern. He was

— eating his own hair

— doing somersaults on the sidewalk, and

— standing on his hind legs and hugging men and women who walked by.

Police arrested the animal and gave him a blood test, only to find that he had dangerous levels of cocaine and marijuana in his bloodstream, as well as traces of heroin. They then checked the barrel around his neck and found that it was packed with crack.

From Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

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