Blog Categories

You might not want to click the hat.

Sam's hat

Woman bounces out of six-year coma and wins pie baking contest! Hubby knocked her out with rolling pin!

A woman who slipped into a coma six years ago after being clobbered in the head with a rolling pin by her angry husband has miraculously snapped out of it.

And she has not only forgiven her husband for the near fatal clap on the head, but she’s also won a blue ribbon for her crust in a pie baking contest, after flattening the dough with the same rolling pin that put her in the coma!

“Life is so different after being in a coma,” says Miranda Balankst, 45. “It’s impossible to put it into words. Even if I knew the right words to describe it, no one would understand unless they had been in a coma before.

“I will say this, and it’s so true. I love my husband more than the world. And I don’t care what he did to me. If he likes flaky piecrusts, I’ll bake him flaky crusts ’til the end of my days. Life is too short.”

Crusty Argument

Miranda first entered the coma after an argument the couple had over piecrusts. She liked a thick, more substantial crust.

Her husband, Bart, 49, prefers a light, paper-thin crust. Six years ago, when Bart saw one of the thicker crusts come out of the oven one Saturday afternoon, he became so angry he hit his wife in the head with the rolling pin.

Bart served four years in prison for the offense.

“If was an example of temporary insanity if ever there was one,” says Bart.

“It was like my eyes saw the crust and my hand grabbed the rolling pin — and my brain took a trip into outer space. After I hit her and saw her lying there — I didn’t remember doing it.”

He finally ate

When Miranda awoke from her coma and started baking again, Bart didn’t care for a piece of pie.

“After what I did to Miranda, I never wanted to see another piece of pie as long as I lived,” he said.

But Miranda was determined to put the past behind them. She began to use her rolling pin more than ever.

Says Miranda: “I baked every kind of pie there is to bake — fruit pies, custard pies, cream pies, chocolate pies — I baked them all. And I baked them with super thin crusts.”

Bart finally broke down and ate a piece, and he’s been constantly sampling her tasty creations ever since.

Miranda’s crust on a peach pie won first place in the Norenxt County piecrust contest.

Says food columnist Kate Scottsbrowsen, judge of the contest: “There was no other crust close to Miranda’s. She has a certain something that’s impossible to describe. I guess being comatose that long changes a person. It sure changed her piecrust.

“There’s no a pie crust within four hundred miles that could even compare to Miranda’s.

From Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>