Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

Confessions of a Tabloid Writer. Only 14.99:

Contents

1. Intro: How This Book Happened!
2. Adopted teen threatens parents with babies of her own!
3. Car-driving aliens lead people to their dreams!
4. Alien visits man in his sleep…And teaches him four languages!
5. They have sex earth, give birth in space…sexy alien women visit earth on pregnancy missions; victims say it’s ‘heaven on earth’
6. Deep-voiced aliens leave messages on answering machines!
7. Armless Teenager perfect 300 game!
8. Bank uses tear gas to evict family from house…unemployment put hubby in a state of rebellious depression!
9. Bank robbers have sex during hold-up!
10. Barmaid turns customers into sissies with hormones!
11. Mother carries belly-dancing daughter’s baby…So she could keep working!
12. Women with bigger breasts have more sex!…As do men with bigger chests!
13. Blind Man’s Bluff!…Widow kept blind hubby in the dark; and a live-in lover in the next room!
14. Brain Surgeon Uses Computer to Control Patients!
15. Busty mom trades breats with flat-chested daughter!
16. Cookie war ends in poisoned teachers, dead cafeteria manager!
17. Cat saves owner’s life…by dialing 911!
18. Priest Sexually Molested by Class!
19. CD player gets woman pregnant…she thinks by Elvis!
20. Cheers! Sassy barmaid gets beered and feathered!…because she walked, talked, and acted like Carla!
21. Teacher Killed by 5-Year-Old Karate Kid!
22. Baby’s first words are Chinese!
23. Choir boy born without tongue —He sings through his nose!
24. Eat with chopsticks…to lose weight!
25. Woman dies On coffee-doughnut diet!
26. Woman bounces out of six-year coma and wins pie baking contest!…Hubby knocked her out with rolling pin!
27. Girl Wakes From Coma As A Genius!
28. Terrorists Invade Condom Factories!
29. Mixed-up couple has sex for the 1st time!…After 20 years of marriage!
30. Bowling For Custody!
31. Daughter sues mom for making her eat broccoli!
32. Strange cult of ex-hippies worships deer!
33. Dentist tries to quiet nagging ex-wife by pulling all her teeth!
34. Digital Alarm Clock Tells Owner: “Sleep Forever”!
35. Couple destroys all property over divorce!
36. Doctor’s wives have more affairs!…They are on the prowl as a way to get back!
37. Drug Using Dog Arrested!
38. Woman feeds hubby his pet pooch in spaghetti sauce!
39. Slam, bam, thank you ma’am!…Doctor fathers fifty babies during check-ups, then flees from angry moms!
40. Hubby electrocutes wife with recliner!
41. “I want to be a pimp!” says freshman business major!
42. Wild dart throw restores deaf man’s hearing!
43. Hooker gives up the trade when she meets her new true love: Golf!
44. Man leaves 5,000 thank you notes in will!
45. Groombusters! Hot new business caters to future in-laws!
46. Family of five votes on parents! Mother to stay, father to move out! 3-2 vote ends hard fought campaign!
47. Family Sues Doc For Fat Transplant Trick!
48. Desperate father mugs his own son!
49. Father of twenty-six has international family reunion!
50. Fax lovers commit double suicide!
51. Sad son dies from fear of flying!
52. Killer gets free by chopping his fingers off!
53. Former jock loses weight — by having a football implanted in his stomach!
54. Former nun: “I’m crazy about sex!”
55. Five-year-old girl gets $3 million in thank-you note!…found elderly man stuck in mailbox!
56. Wheeling-dealing teenage girl gets custody of sad mom in bitter court battle!
57. 17-year-old girl becomes grandma on graduation day!
58. Handicapped great-grandfather delivers baby!…And now he remembers his own birth!
59. Mugged grandma mugs back…with razor blades!
60. Hitler’s ghost seen in dirty toilets!
61. Homeless Man Sues Parents!
62. Wife killed by jealous hooker!
63. Man Destroys His Own Brain With Coffee!
64. Jealous mom feeds hormones and steroids to foxy nanny…and destroys her womanly charm!
65. Coin-Tossing Judge Kills Himself!
66. Killer woman for hire:…sex pro kills men, legally, with sex!
67. Lawyer put in jail…After throwing-up on witness!
68. Fifty-two-year-old cripple wins road race…After recieving baby’s legs in transplant surgery!
69. Life after death is better! (non-fiction)
70. Macho boy has sex with teachers…Then gets them fired!
71. Man addicted to encyclopedia!…won’t shave or cut hair until he’s read the whole thing!
72. A man for all seasons…Paranoid millionaire creates four climates in his home— and he never leaves it!
73. Man kills wife with remote!…he liked to watch ads; she liked to scan channels!
74. Lassie fan joins pack of wild dogs!…says he likes them better than people!
75. Manager tells employees: “Your wives are my property”
76. Movement Underway to Clothe Michelangelo’s David!
77. Invitations Mailed For Giant Bash In Year 2000 (non-fiction, written in 1989)
78. Retired mill worker discovers $2 million in his bank account!
79. Mother cuts-off her own toe!…To be with her family!
80. Baby selling mommy commits suicide!…she wasn’t allowed to buy back her own kids!
81. Bank Robbing Monkeys Aren’t Playing Around!
82. Doctor begs judge for death penalty!…and Judge begs doc to drop charges against himself!
83. Boy saves drowning great grandma!…she fell in goldfish pond!
84. Teen Violence: Boy kills brother with pizza!
85. Doctor implants T.V. remote in paraplegic’s brain!
86. Drowsy man builds glass house! In order to stay awake!
87. Wife sues hubby for bad breath!
88. Muscle Money!…Body builder sells arms and legs to rich wimp for $3 million!
89. Super rich parents sign pre-birth contracts!
90. Woman trades baby for new car!
91. Coach or pimp?…his players have sex with cheerleaders if they win, not if they lose!
92. Ha ha! Bank robbery turns out to be practical joke!
93. Angry man sells his neighbor’s house!
94. Civil War ghosts warn Bush: avoid war at all costs!
95. Judge discovers pretty-boy lawyer can’t read a lick!
96. Deepen your relationships with reflective listening!
97. Hubby licks wife’s feet twice a day!… As part of marriage contract!
98. Woman dresses like man, turns gay friend into sex maniac hubby!
99. Elvis and Marilyn have affair in heaven!
100. Vet stirs genetic material, creates gentle, flying cat!
101. Couple has sex in the freezer to avoid greenhouse effect!…results in quadruplets!
102. Ten-Year-old Boy Never Sleeps, Destroys Family!
103. Broken hearted orphan gives her mom a kidney!…and she still gets cold shoulder!
104. Man risks millions to eat one noodle a day for a year!…and he’s gained weight!
105. Trained ostrich catches team of burglars!
106. Man’s Cigarette Causes Party Punch to Blow Up!
107. Pet Eater Caught and Convicted!
108. Microwave Brings Dead Pets Back To Life!
109. Psychic Boy Predicts The End of Politics!
110. Policeman has sex with women speeders!
111. Childbirth cures woman of cancer!
112. 15 tips for less fat in the diet —which means less fat on the body!
113. Doctor implants T.V. remote…in paraplegic’s brain!
114. Sad Parents Bombarded With High-Priced Gifts!
115. School Discovers Principal is Brain Damaged!
116. Missing children found in school basement, principal charged with kidnapping!
117. Man and wife make love twice every day for 50 years!
118. Steamy twins swap husbands!
119. Wife Hypnotizes Husband, Makes Him a Slave!
120. Warm milk doesn’t help you sleep!
121. Man sues best friend for making him smoke!
122. Two-timing wife starves herself for one hubby, gorges for the other! …gains or loses 100 pounds, according to who she’s with
123. Couple divorces and marries each others parents!
124. Man Kills Steroid Crazed Parrott!
125. Altruistic boy scouts meet their brides in nursing homes!
126. Lonely sex therapist is too skillful for her own good! …finds herself unemployed!
127. Boy geniuis too smart for sex! …thousands of lusty women want his sperm!
128. Warm hearted hooker turns the tables on men! …She pays them to have sex with their own wives!
129. T.V. Set Receives $10,000 in Woman’s Will!…Judge Let’s it Stand!
130. Man’s pet tarantula scratches his back,…furious wife moves out!
131. Wife Tattoos Mother-in-Law’s Picture On Husband’s Face!
132. Woman has baby on tennis court!
133. Third Breast Cools Hot Model!
134. Titanic victims speak from waterbed!
135. Woman forgives hubby after tongue slashing!
136. Man parks three blocks from home because his car is afraid of the driveway!
137. World traveler forgets who she is, where she’s from!
138. Forgiving wife wants hubby back inside! …After 20 years in tree house!
139. Beautiful Twins Start Family Destruction Business!
140. He won’t shave or cut hair!…Until he reads entire encyclopedia
141. Woman’s tears remove warts
142. Jealous wife controls hubby with computer …she drilled chips into his brain
143. Woman buys her own baby from ex-hubby for $3 million!
144. Strange but true…She caught a peeping Tom in a tar pit!
145. Beauty queen dumps her hunk hubby for 400 pound wimp! …And her ex punches out new groom at the wedding!
146. Woman saves son’s life by burning husband alive!