Digital Alarm Clock Tells Owner: "Sleep Forever"!

A man who says his home is infested with smart-aleck spooks woke-up two hours late for work and looked at his digital alarm clock only to see a message which read: “Sleep forever, for all I care.”

“Now they’ve gone too far,” says Burt Geisher, 49. “We’re moving out of this house.”

Geisher, who works for a construction company and needs to be on the job early in the mornings — on time — says that there are ghosts living in the appliances in his house.

“They were here before I got here, and as long as they stay here after I leave, we’ll be fine. I’m sick of them. But if they follow me — I’ll crack up.”

Geisher says that the ghosts are not mean or terribly scary — just pesky.

“They don’t spook us. They just try to drive us nuts,” he says.

According to Geisher, and his wife, Gloria, 45, the ghosts usually invade the appliances in the house at the most inconvenient times.

“We go weeks at a time when we don’t even know they are here,” Gloria says. “Then all of a sudden, they pull some kind of a prank, and we feel like we could kill them — which is impossible, of course.”

“We would love this house, if it weren’t haunted,” she said. “But, because it is, we’ve got to move.”

The spooks have caused trouble for the Geishers in the following ways:

— with three minutes to go in the most exciting Superbowl in twenty years, the T.V. began flashing the message, “Be a sport, sports fan,” and wouldn’t work properly again until the game was over.

— when the Geishers had company for dinner and a casserole was in the microwave, the oven froze the dish solid instead of cooking it. The words “chill out” were flashing across the microwave’s digital display.

— on the hottest day of the summer, every time the Geishers turned on the air-conditioner, the spooks turned on the heating system, and the opposite took place on the coldest day of the winter.

— and, on numerous occasions, the spooks have played games with the light switches in the house, causing the switches in some rooms to control the lights in other rooms, and then mixing up the whole arrangement again every few hours.

From Confessions of a Tabloid Writer!

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