Groombusters! Hot new business caters to future in-laws!

Don’t like your child’s pick for a mate? Hire Groombusters! and they will see to it the marriage gets called off.

“We cater to parents,” says owner Jim Vlackwonistich. “We make sure the knot never gets tied.


“So many marriages are doomed because the parents don’t approve of their child’s choice. We don’t feel bad at all about what we do. We offer parents a valuable service. The divorce rate is too high as it is.”

Groombusters uses a variety of techniques to break-off engagements.

“We arrange for affairs, seductions, rumors, family fights — whatever it takes to get the job done.”

Groombusters gets a fair price for their service — anywhere from five hundred to fifty thousand dollars a job, depending on what measures are called for and what the financial picture of the family is like. They boast a success rate of over 90 percent.

“When a parent doesn’t like a future son or daughter-in-law, they are willing to pay any amount of money to get the marriage called off,” says Vlackwonistich. “We get paid for what we do, and we get the job done.”

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