Coffee Therapy — the play

SCENE 10
Back in WINKERBLOOM’S office.

WINKERBLOOM
Ah. Well. So you say you’re not stupid. You just feel that way. What are your grades like this semester, anyway?

DARNELL
Not good. Well, I know I’ll flunk math. I failed the homework, failed the tests, failed the midterm, and I quit going to class. It meets at eight in the morning. I just keep on sleeping. Of course, that’s because I have trouble getting to sleep at night, so when I finally do – it’s late and I need the sleep.

WINKERBLOOM
You know, generally, the admissions office screens the applicants. How’d they let you in this school, anyway?

DARNELL
The tennis coach got me in.

WINKERBLOOM
Oh, so you’re on the tennis team?

DARNELL
No, I’m not good enough.

WINKERBLOOM
Naturally. Of course you’re not. Then why’d the tennis coach give a shit about getting you in?

DARNELL
He was a friend. I took lessons from him.

WINKERBLOOM
Oh, yeah. I see. So the tennis coach told admissions to let you in, and they did – even though they knew you weren’t smart enough to pass the courses and not good enough in tennis to play on the team.

DARNELL
Yeah, that’s it.

WINKERBLOOM
Interesting story. I wonder if there are any other factors. You know, anything you could do…I know you can’t just wake up one day and be as smart as James and Judy. That would be impossible. Intelligence like that – that brother and sister of yours – that’s innate…but I’m just thinking, if there’s anything that could be done to compensate for this innate stupidity that seems to plague you?

DARNELL
Innate?

WINKERBLOOM
Yeah. ‘Innate’ means that you’re born with it and there’s not a damn thing you or anybody else can do about it.

DARNELL
I know what innate means!

WINKERBLOOM
Sorry, I wasn’t sure.

DARNELL
Well, I do.

WINKERBLOOM
Fine. Sorry. So sorry. But I wonder if there are any other factors? Anything that you could come up with if you really picked your brain?

DARNELL
Well, I do smoke pot sometimes, but I don’t think that affects me.

One Reply to “Coffee Therapy — the play”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.