SR. DARNELL is lying on the couch, trying to read. He can’t concentrate because there is a loud argument going on in the next room. He can’t help but to listen to it. The argument is between DARNELL’S ROOMMATE, who wears nothing but underwear, and his ROOMMATE’S GIRLFRIEND.
No one has ever done that to me! Ever! You’re the biggest jerk I’ve ever met in my life and if you don’t apologize I’m leaving here right now and never coming back!
So go. I’m not stopping you.
Hey, Darnell, are you stopping her from going?
DARNELL doesn’t respond. He still holds the book, but he is listening, not reading.
Apologize, you bastard!
If I knew what to say, then I would apologize.
very loud, shrill
Son of a bitch!
The GIRLFRIEND throws a book at DARNELL’S ROOMMATE; he ducks. It crashes against the wall. She stomps out.
DARNELL’S ROOMMATE enters DARNELL’S room. He carries a woman’s coat.
Just a minute. I need your window.
DARNELL’S ROOMMATE goes to the window in DARNELL’S room and opens it. He sticks his head out and shouts to his girlfriend, who is now outside.
Hey, yesterday you want to get married, today you don’t like the way I make love! Make up your mind!
Go to hell!
You forgot your coat!
Keep it, asshole! Keep it!
I don’t want it.
He throws the coat out the window. We hear a car engine start. We see a flicker of light in the window – her car’s headlights. We hear a car jerk into gear and race away.
What a bitch.
You need to go to a therapist.
To talk about your relationships with women.
Ah! Why would I want to talk about that? The world’s full of women. Man, you’re the one who’s crazy. Not me.
We hear the car return. We see the flash of headlights, and then hear the engine cut. We hear the sound of feet on stairs. The GIRLFRIEND enters. She carries the coat.
I told you to keep the coat. It’s your souvenir. Especially since you ruined it by throwing it out the window.
She throws the coat at DARNELL’S ROOMMATE. He throws it out the window again.
I don’t want a souvenir from you.
She attacks him. She hits him on the chest. She pushes him. She slaps his face. He doesn’t defend himself; in fact, he has a stupid grin on his face.
DARNELL gets off the couch and takes a few steps back, avoiding the scuffle.
After a moment of struggle, the two angry lovers suddenly embrace. They kiss, and then collapse arm-in-arm upon the couch. He is almost naked as it is. Together, they furiously work to remove her clothes.
Darnell, could you give us a minute?
Please, Darnell, sweetie – Get lost!
DARNELL exits. The lovers begin to mend their discord.