Coffee Therapy — the play

SCENE 8
Back in therapy, DARNEL thinks, groping for material. Uneasy silence. Suddenly, he gets an idea and latches onto it. He blurts it out, excited.

DARNELL
My brother and my sister are my problems!

WINKERBLOOM
How’s that?

DARNELL
They are straight A students. I can’t measure up.

WINKERBLOOM
What about you?

DARNELL
I already told you that. My grades are shitty.

WINKERBLOOM
So these genius siblings of yours, what are their names?
DARNELL:
choking
James, and Judy.

WINKERBLOOM
What do they do?

DARNELL
They’re both in graduate school.

WINKERBLOOM
Wow. I guess you better not do that.

DARNELL
Do what?

WINKERBLOOM
Go to graduate school.

DARNELL
Why not?

WINKERBLOOM
Because you’re too stupid, right?

DARNELL
Not really, but I wouldn’t be able to get in.

WINKERBLOOM
Just how stupid are you, anyway?

DARNELL
I didn’t say I was stupid. I just said my brother and my sister make me feel that way.

WINKERBLOOM
So what’s the difference?

DARNELL
One is feeling stupid; the other is actually being stupid.

WINKERBLOOM
Fine distinction. But if you buy it…

DARNELL
I’m learning a lot here.

WINKERBLOOM
How nice. That’s just…intelligent.

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