Crazy Jodie

SCENE 7

CLEMMIE, BUBBIE, CHARLIE and SANDY watch T.V. CLEMMIE points at SANDY.

BUBBIE: She’s your wife?

CHARLIE: Yes, Bubbie. Sandy.

BUBBIE: She’s a Jewish girl.

SANDY: Well, really, I’m not.

BUBBIE doesn’t appear to hear this.

CHARLIE: She’s not Jewish, Bubbie.

BUBBIE: Of course she is.

SANDY: explaining

Our daughter is learning all about being Jewish.

BUBBIE: Of course she’s is.

CHARLIE: She goes along with everything…

BUBBIE: Why wouldn’t she?

CLEMMIE: She doesn’t look it.

BUBBIE: Sure she does.

CLEMMIE: Everybody looks Jewish to you.

BUBBIE: Why such a fuss? A Jew is a Jew. I am so tired.

She closes her eyes. A moment later, she opens them.

CHARLIE scratches his nose.

Stop that nose scratching. You’ll ruin it. You’ll have scars.

CHARLIE: You told me that when I was a kid and I still don’t have scars.

BUBBIE: You used to scratch your nose so hard it’s a wonder you didn’t break it off.

CHARLIE: I never did.

BUBBIE: Why do you do it?

CHARLIE: It’s a habit. I don’t do it that much.

BUBBIE: You used to dig your nail into it. I’m surprised it doesn’t bleed.

CHARLIE: I’ve never drawn any blood. I don’t use my nail.

BUBBIE: Then why take the chance? I’ll give you a dollar if you stop.

CHARLIE: Okay, I’ve stopped.

BUBBIE: Here’s your dollar.

CHARLIE: I don’t need it. I’ve stopped scratching.

BUBBIE: Take it. Please, before you get scars.

CHARLIE: Okay.

He accepts another dollar.