My theory on the debate

I watched the debate. While it was going on, I thought Obama did fine.

Romney suddenly changed from a right winger to a moderate — pitching to the middle. The only surprise there is that he didn’t do it sooner in the campaign.

Obama didn’t blast back. But he did point out the flip flops.

From my point of view, Romney was being Romney — a pragmatic candidate who will change his views when he needs to. A tough politician who plays to win.

Obama was being, well…Presidential. He was respectful. He explained his positions and didn’t apologize for his record.

With divided government, filibusters, no deal making, etc., critical matters (education, infrastructure, energy) aren’t getting handled anyway. So I found it all the talk a little moot — a little boring.

Then the debate is over and the analysis beings. The talking heads begin to talk. That’s when I found out Romney had kicked Obama’s ass.

Could it be that Obama is being dumb like a fox?

Perhaps he’s looked at the situation and sees that he’s going to win. Incumbent Presidents rarely lose. Romney’s got to sweep the swing states to pull it off.

Maybe Obama is thinking ahead, to the possibility of governing more effectively in the next four years. When the drama settles, history will show that he’s been extraordinarily effective so far.

But what if he gets a little Republican support going forward? What would that be like? He won’t be running again. Maybe he’ll get a year or two of bipartisan workability after this election. Anything is possible.

So maybe he wasn’t tired or sad or preoccupied with no-telling-what was going on the in world during that time. Maybe he was being a statesman who thought it might not be in the country’s best interest to crush the opposition on stage.

Just a theory…

Math in Schools: Obama's Waterloo!

Conservative talk show hosts are in a frenzy, and this time they have the nation’s youth on their side.

In his continued push for American economic survival, U.S. President Barack Obama has jeopardized his popularity with young people by suggesting they learn math in school.

Napoleon at Waterloo
Napoleon at Waterloo

“Our children rank 32nd in the world in math,” the President said.  “This is not acceptable in a global economy.

“We are every bit as smart as other countries.  We just need to invest in education, reform our schools, and inspire our children to put in the hard work that is necessary to succeed in math.”

Conservative talk show hosts know that young people are the key to future listening audiences, and they can taste the red meat.

“This President favors public, government owned, government run education! That costs money!” cried Rush Limbaugh, who just signed a $400 million dollar contract for his radio program.  “This one will bring Obama down!  He wants socialize learning!

Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limbaugh: Math represents "government sponsored learning."

“Soon — there’s no telling what these kids will be thinking.”

Limbaugh urged his large listening audience to keep children home from school on days math is taught.

Fox’s Glenn Beck also sees the red flag.

“Math!” Beck screamed, as he jumped from one table to another during taping of his show.

Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck: Math is Communism

“He’s a socialist, communist, Nazi dictator, just like Adolf Hitler,” said Beck.  “Today, he wants our children to learn math!  Tomorrow, it could be history, or even art!  Next thing you know, he’ll want them to go to college!”

Beck, who never went to college, sees education as “the ultimate proof that a person is a communist.”

Obama: Wants math in public schools
Obama: Wants math taught in public schools

The conservative’ “oppose everything” strategy that, until now, has played well with Bubba, may finally reach a younger audience — pay dirt for Republicans.

“Obama’s efforts to control health care costs, avoid another great depression, and withdraw from Iraq appeals to progressive voters who already have fixed political views,” says Dr. Jill Heckstrongermash, Professor of Political Science at UNCDB.

“But these economic issues don’t excite children,” she says.  “And they will be voters in a few years.

“Math, however, evokes a visceral response from a huge demographic.

“The majority of school children fear math in general.

“When you start talking about calculus and trigonometry, you’re scaring the hell out of most high schoolers.

“That’s why talk radio wants to keep this story alive,” said Heckstrongermash. It’s a huge opening for the Republicans that could pay dividents for years to come.”

BoobieCare — Obama's plan will control women's breast size

Buried in H.R.3200 – America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009, President Barack Obama’s 1,018 page plan to overhaul the U.S. health care system, is a provision that allows the federal government to dictate the breast size of each American woman.

Referred to as “9856(z)18 BREAST AUGMENTATION FOR AMERICAN WOMEN,” the provision is hidden so deep in the dense text that it’s nearly impossible to find, read, and decode.

Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson

But it’s there, in paragraph 4,358,694, stating that “a panel of men who work for the federal government will examine every woman in the country in order to determine her most attractive breast size.”

The panel will also choose her plastic surgeon and conduct follow-up interviews, reserving the right to order additional surgeries down the road, if necessary.

H.R. 3200 provides for all former, living U.S. Presidents to oversee the project. Male members of the U. S. House of Representatives, Senate, and male U.S. Governors will chair the panels and choose its members.

Sarah Palin, herself a former governor, and also a woman, was outraged.

“I’m insulted,” she said. “Mine are perfect. The judges in the Miss Alaska pageant said so. My breasts belong to Todd first, then Alaska second, and next in line my great country, the USA, third — not the stinkin’ federal government.

Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin

“Abraham Lincoln may have said our government is ‘by the people, in the people, on the people, or something like that; but good ol’ Ronnie Reagan said ‘Government is not only A problem, it is THE problem, or something like that, ya’ know? That’s why I voted for Reagan.”

Updating her Facebook status, Palin, also a former Vice-Presidential candidate, wrote about her daughters’ breasts. She said that she’s pleased with Bristol’s, but admitted that some of her daughters’ breasts, once they develop, may need a little work.

“But that’s a private, family matter,” she said.

“First he was a community organizer. Then a constitutional law professor. Now he wants to organize the constitution of underage girls’ boobies. That’s outrageous.

Palin family
Palin family

“That may be the way they act in Kenya, but not where I come from.”

Senator John McCain, former candidate for President, said hes’ a firm believer in plastic surgery, but not at taxpayers’ expense. He supports government health care only for military personnel, military children, and members of Congress.

“It’s been fine for me, my entire life,” McCain said. “But I needed it.

John and Cindy McCain

“I don’t think the federal government can afford to help the general population, however. The government messes everything up. It’s too much spending.
“The bill will never pass,” McCain said. “We’ll fight it. We’ll stomp it. We’ll crush it. We’ll beat it. We’ll defeat it. We’ll kill it.”

Glenn Beck, on his Fox TV show, wept openly.

Even after gathering himself during a commercial break, Beck could barely speak through his tears.

“They are going to send government photographers into your homes and take pictures. Then they’re going to pick out the women they want to see again and haul them in.

Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck

“I love my country,” Beck said. “I think Obama is a sexist. Next, he’ll want to check my penis size. That’s just like the kind of things Hitler did. He’s the same way! A dictator!”

Health Insurance CEO Ron Williams, of Aetna, says he will help fund a massive advertising campaign in order to fight the intrusive provision.

Ron Williams
Ron Williams
Hitler

“Somebody’s got to stand up for the American patient,” says Williams. “Since I made over 40 million dollars in 2007 — a damn good year — I feel a moral obligation to do that.”

Rush Limbaugh

He may act mean and bounce like jello
Rear his head — shout and bellow
Call people names — snort and blow
Act like a jerk who stubbed his toe
But maybe Rush Limbaugh is a pleasant fellow.

He may make racist rants
Hate whole groups while dancing his dance
(as if he had fire-ants in his pants)
A zealot with a stubborn stance
But let’s give Rush a second chance.

He may sound vile to you and me
Beyond the pale
Wanting Barack to fail
A guy who needs Dale Carnegie
But we all know his show ain’t free

Perhaps his listeners are rough and tough
Guys who love to eat this stuff
Rush can’t just give them fluff!
Can’t look like a cream puff!
There are ads to sell. Ratings to buff!

He could be a very nice old hack
Running a popular comedy act
I don’t listen (it’s below my station)
But perhaps it’s worthy of admiration
To give raw meat to those who need a snack

Suppose he’s sour. Talks for an hour
It’s harmless fun in his Florida sun
He doesn’t have any real power

Except — could it be morally wrong
To encourage so many
So long
So strong
Not to get along?