New Poll: More Lifers are Deathers than Birthers

A new poll released by Pugh reveals that 96% of all Lifers are Birthers, and 77% are Deathers.

The poll asked 5,000 inmates with life sentences (Lifers), if they thought President Obama was born in this country.


Ninety-six  percent said he was born in Hawaii or some other country, revealing that virtually all Lifers are Birthers.

Pugh Poll -- Birthers
Pugh Poll -- Birthers

The poll also asked how many Lifers thought America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009, which Obama wants to sign into law, calls for death panels to pull the plug on grandma in order to save money.

Pugh Poll -- Deathers
Pugh Poll -- Deathers

Seventy-seven percent of the inmates think HR3200 does indeed include that provision.  This makes them Deathers.

According to Pugh researcher Dr. Wmotter Trottlebottom, Lifers prefer thinking about birth over death, which may be the reason for the difference.

“Lifers don’t generally concern themselves with end-of-life counseling (living wills), since the penitentiary will make those decisions for them,” said Dr. Trottlebottom.

“On the other hand, they are bored,” said Trottlebottom.  “So a good birth certificate rumor has some appeal.”

Birthers and Deathers

The Birthers Theory

On August 4th of sixty-one
the mama
of Barack Obama
thought she’d have a little fun.

She knew that maybe
her new baby
might run for President.
So he needed to be
a legal resident.

An epiphany she had that night!
The light!  The foresight!

Secure a future Presidential Race
by forging his birthplace!

The Deathers Theory

And now
in this gathering storm
for health care reform

some people say:

“Insurance today
is fine!  Fair play!

What’s worked before,
may work again.
We’ll make stuff up
and win!

Tell a little lie:
Psssst: some people
want others to die.

In order to kill the bill
just say ‘the bill will kill.'”

Who else wants to scream
When they hear this nonsense, so extreme?