555 words. That’s the game.

555 words.

That’s the game.

555 words a day for 90 days makes a book.

The idea for the book is that I discover the idea for the book.

Yesterday, I created a kitchen that is spotless, almost. I spent the day cleaning it — taking everything out of every drawer, throwing away what was too old to use, donating to Goodwill what somebody else could use, and recycling what could be recycled.

And then, late last night, I discovered three drawers, just to the right of the sink, that I had forgotten.

So why did I forget these drawers? There’s a reason for that. It’s no accident that I cleaned the entire kitchen, including some really grimy shit in places the eye never goes that have never been cleaned (the tops of the cabinets above the stove). I had to stand on the countertop, with my knees bent, my head against the ceiling. It required a scraper.

And then there was the top of the refrigerator!

Yet, I did not clean these three drawers — easily accessed and easily cleaned — beside the sink.

Why?

The answer is inside the drawers.

The top drawer contains plastic grocery store bags. What are they used for? Absolutely nothing. My wife uses reusable bags when she goes grocery shopping. I forget to take these, so I get the plastic bags from the store. When I get home, I throw the plastic bags away — thereby polluting my planet.

When I lived in England, in the ‘70’s, they didn’t give you bags at the store. You brought your own. And here, we waste for the sake of waste because we can.

When I get home from the store, I don’t put my bags in this drawer. Why not?

Because it’s full! It’s overflowing! It’s a little landfill, inside my house! A little place with items that will never biodegrade — taking up prime real estate in our kitchen and on our planet.

Filling valuable space in my kitchen with toxic waste.

Filling valuable space in my life with toxic waste.

Down from there is a tool drawer. We have a place in the garage for tools, but every so often, I need one. So I bring the tool in the house, use it, and return it to the tool drawer. So now there are few tools left in the garage. And the tool drawer is overflowing.

Need a hammer? A screw driver? Start digging.

The other drawer is full of items that get used by the tools. A couple of screws. Nails. Leftover parts from installing a towel holder or a mini-blind. Stuff that’s almost useless but sometimes a life-saver.

If I feel like digging.

Start digging.

Digging for tools. Digging for nails and screws.

Digging for a bag that will eventually be buried in a landfill that no one will ever dig.

Digging for my life.

And for some reason, I don’t want to do the digging.

There must be something in the drawers I don’t want to find.

Something I’ll find that reminds me of something I don’t want to remember.

The picture wire for the picture I never got hung.

The clamps I borrowed from my dad and never returned.

The caulking I got for the bathroom that never got caulked.

The putty I got for the window that I never got fixed.

The things I did not complete.

The drawers represent a life of incompletion.

So I stop. Let it sit. Incomplete. The drawer that could be the easiest of all. Incomplete.

Do I want a life of completing things and moving on, or a life of digging and wondering where it went?

BoobieCare — Obama's plan will control women's breast size

Buried in H.R.3200 – America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009, President Barack Obama’s 1,018 page plan to overhaul the U.S. health care system, is a provision that allows the federal government to dictate the breast size of each American woman.

Referred to as “9856(z)18 BREAST AUGMENTATION FOR AMERICAN WOMEN,” the provision is hidden so deep in the dense text that it’s nearly impossible to find, read, and decode.

Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson

But it’s there, in paragraph 4,358,694, stating that “a panel of men who work for the federal government will examine every woman in the country in order to determine her most attractive breast size.”

The panel will also choose her plastic surgeon and conduct follow-up interviews, reserving the right to order additional surgeries down the road, if necessary.

H.R. 3200 provides for all former, living U.S. Presidents to oversee the project. Male members of the U. S. House of Representatives, Senate, and male U.S. Governors will chair the panels and choose its members.

Sarah Palin, herself a former governor, and also a woman, was outraged.

“I’m insulted,” she said. “Mine are perfect. The judges in the Miss Alaska pageant said so. My breasts belong to Todd first, then Alaska second, and next in line my great country, the USA, third — not the stinkin’ federal government.

Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin

“Abraham Lincoln may have said our government is ‘by the people, in the people, on the people, or something like that; but good ol’ Ronnie Reagan said ‘Government is not only A problem, it is THE problem, or something like that, ya’ know? That’s why I voted for Reagan.”

Updating her Facebook status, Palin, also a former Vice-Presidential candidate, wrote about her daughters’ breasts. She said that she’s pleased with Bristol’s, but admitted that some of her daughters’ breasts, once they develop, may need a little work.

“But that’s a private, family matter,” she said.

“First he was a community organizer. Then a constitutional law professor. Now he wants to organize the constitution of underage girls’ boobies. That’s outrageous.

Palin family
Palin family

“That may be the way they act in Kenya, but not where I come from.”

Senator John McCain, former candidate for President, said hes’ a firm believer in plastic surgery, but not at taxpayers’ expense. He supports government health care only for military personnel, military children, and members of Congress.

“It’s been fine for me, my entire life,” McCain said. “But I needed it.

John and Cindy McCain

“I don’t think the federal government can afford to help the general population, however. The government messes everything up. It’s too much spending.
“The bill will never pass,” McCain said. “We’ll fight it. We’ll stomp it. We’ll crush it. We’ll beat it. We’ll defeat it. We’ll kill it.”

Glenn Beck, on his Fox TV show, wept openly.

Even after gathering himself during a commercial break, Beck could barely speak through his tears.

“They are going to send government photographers into your homes and take pictures. Then they’re going to pick out the women they want to see again and haul them in.

Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck

“I love my country,” Beck said. “I think Obama is a sexist. Next, he’ll want to check my penis size. That’s just like the kind of things Hitler did. He’s the same way! A dictator!”

Health Insurance CEO Ron Williams, of Aetna, says he will help fund a massive advertising campaign in order to fight the intrusive provision.

Ron Williams
Ron Williams
Hitler

“Somebody’s got to stand up for the American patient,” says Williams. “Since I made over 40 million dollars in 2007 — a damn good year — I feel a moral obligation to do that.”