In her new memoir: Going Vogue: How I Saved the My Country’s Ass, Sarah Palin fondly remembers her greatest achievements as President of the United States.
In an interview published yesterday on Craigslist, Palin brushed off questions that reminded her of the fact that she was never elected and therefore never served as President of the United States.
“Aw — now that’s just the left wing liberal commie media trying to pick on me again,” she says.
“I can’t decide what the best thing I did was,” writes Palin, in the soon-to-be-published book.
“It was either eliminating the death tax, capital gains tax, or income tax,” she writes. “Whichever — it worked. There’s no more government spending, and no budget deficit.”
She also credits the end of abortion and birth control as strategies that will have long term benefits for the country.
“The increased reproduction will grow our population and the numbers in our military,” writes Palin. “We need more children to fight in future wars that will make our country safer.”
Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, a strong Palin supporter, fully supports the Palin Presidency.
“Real Americans know Sarah Palin was President,” says Bachmann. “It’s the un-American Americans that try to keep saying she wasn’t the President.”
Carrie Prejean, a Palin intern and former Miss America Pageant contestant, helped Palin write the book.
“This is not only one of the first books I’ve ever worked on,” says Prejean, “but I think the Palin memoir will go down in history as one of the first books I ever read.”
Prejean, a strong opponent of gay marriage who believes people should have sex only with themselves, also believes strongly that Palin was President.
“Saying she’s not President is inappropriate,” says Prejean.
Glenn Beck, of Fox News, noted that Palin’s “book” rhymes with “cook,” as in “cooking the books,” — something Beck claims poor people do on a regular basis.
Beck also points out that Hitler, in fact, did cook books — and that “cook” is “something people do to corn,” which is contained in the word “acorn.”
“Cook also rhymes with ‘look,'” says Beck. “As in ‘look’ how choked-up I get about loving my country.
“It also rhymes with ‘took,'” he says, “as in they ‘took’ out my appendix so we can ‘took’ back our country.'”